søndag 11. oktober 2015

  The unquenchable thirst 


We can find ourselves involved in manic harvesting of imagined gold, locked in a power struggle to attract the largest amounts of love, affection and experience to feed us.
Comparing and pitting ourselves up against others to be the greatest hoarders of what life and others are able to offer us. Counting the number of conquests and mountains we have climbed in haughty manner, proudly displaying the things we have been able to attract. As if partaking in an alchemical proccess to draw the essence out of encounters, and salivate it in a decadent banquet. 
Building a bunker where the distilled gold is collected, like the tombs of ancient pharaos to enrich their image and value in the eyes of others. The onlookers unaware of the fact that the the pharao was trying to fill an empty void and compensating this lack of internal fulfillment and soulful engagement with elaborated statues and rare material objects. 
When acting in manipulative ways, witholding our own truth and meaning to only recieve gifts and tokens of admiration from those we wish to have an advantage over. To place ourselves in positions of might and thus hold the specter while charging for the superficial throne room where none are allowed to visit. Where we are involved in a constantly weighing of scales, to make sure we have the most influence. Reacting with all encompasing panic and rage when brought to our knowledge that someone somewhere has been the recipient of what we have yet to furnish our lavish throne rooms with. Knowing deep inside we did not really want or need even more glittering capes to adorn our closets, but the thought sets of a trigger like a child in a toy store simply wanting whatever he cannot claim as his possesion. 
When we see life as something to own, feed us, and forget to be a soulful participant in the dance, but instead manically circumvent the natural flow to take the shape of a hungry beast swallowing all we can, and scurrying about in a frantic pace to ensure we have tasted all the delicacies on the buffett just for the heck of it, we can quickly lose track.
A convoluted bucket list of an insatiable scope scattered with trivialities that does not make our hearts and minds blaze with luminescent lightning bolts of vigor and excitement. Simply there as another expendable bracelet, ring, piece of clothing to be placed in the bunker of gold. 
There can be a tendency to lose track of our true light and joy, when everything must be gathered and felt. When having a sense of entitlement that we should be the superior aristocrats of life, and be served whatever our fleeting whims demand, we can be become dissociated from feeling the true self and core of others. When creating walls of segregation, we can become unable to function on the same wavelength and thus our mind wandering in another space being unable to truly connect and associate with what is happening. 
If sitting alone in the gaudy throne room where none are admissioned to pass, instead of a quaint country village beaming with life and festivities without imposed fixations on cast and class, we quickly become disilussioned.
When pursuing that which we do not truly need or have an innate longing for, the end results can often be felt as vapid and lacking in depth. The enigmatic sensations otherwise felt when engaging with the world, replaced by vacant emotions of a nugatory paradox. 

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